Primal
by Anguis Amor
Summary: A hero isn't always a hero. Non consensual. Dark.


"No, I don't. Sorry, but I don't feel the same way for you."

I told him. I saw how his heart broke. And I fully knew that I was the reason.

But I also knew that we weren't meant to be. He was the golden boy. He was the boy-who-lived. And I? I was just another girl. I was the bookworm. And my position was next to him as his best friend. And nothing more.

What he was feeling right now, was just temporary. I knew that when these fleeting feelings disappeared, I would be the one broken and our friendship would be gone, too. And our friendship was too important for me to jeopardize.

Harry nodded, "okay, I get it." He walked over to me and hugged me. I wondered, if he felt my heart beating rapidly. With a whisper, he said, "no hard feelings." And he left. I saw how he walked away. And I felt my own heart slowly breaking.

The next couple of days, I was avoiding him. However, at night, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about him. And I couldn't help but fantasize. I knew he would never be mine. But in my dreams, he was. Mine, and nobody else.

It was one of these hot nights, when I woke up, panting and sweating. I could remember how he was kissing me. I could remember how he looked at me and whispered my name.

And I also knew that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep again. So I slowly threaded out of my bed and dressed up. I decided to roam the castle grounds.

The cool breezes cooled off my body. I needed that. Sunk in thoughts of that boy, I kept walking and walking. I walked past trees and past the water.

When I stumbled upon a rock and fell to the ground, I finally looked around. Thinking about Harry had made me lost track of time and place. I didn't know where I was. I only knew I was screwed.

So I decided to sit there and wait.

Minutes, hours might have passed by, before I heard a branch snap. I looked up and of course, I see Harry. Avoiding him was not possible anymore.

"Harry? You found me?" I said, so grateful. And I hurried and hugged him.

"You were lost?" he asked, awkwardly. I nodded. "I thought so, I looked at the map and didn't see you in the castle anymore, so…" Harry trailed off, realizing how creepy it might have seemed. But I didn't care. I was glad he found me. He was always finding me and saving me. My hero, I secretly thought.

"Thank you. Let's go," I said tugging him along.

Slowly we walked next to each other. We didn't say a word. Entering the castle, we heard a familiar voice. We looked at each other and we knew we were in trouble.

"What were you doing?" Professor McGonall asked.

"We were taking a walk." I answered her, as if we were talking about the weather.

"Do you know the time, miss Granger?"

"After curfew," I said.

"Detention, both of you. Tonight."

I looked at Harry. He shrugged. We hurried back to our Tower. Not looking back when I slipped into the girls' dorms. In my bed, the only thing I heard was my own heart. And every time I thought about Harry, I felt how my whole being ached. For him. Closing my eyes, I turned around. Slowly I slipped my hand beneath, trying to compensate for this longing.

I was threading detention the whole day. The idea of being with Harry in one room made my stomach turn. I was nervous and anxious.

As a mantra, I repeated "he is not for me" in my head. Until I couldn't think of anything else.

Detention. Professor McGonall ordered us to sit and to write lines. Then she turned around and sat at her desk, grading our papers.

Harry sat next to me and I next to him. We didn't speak. We didn't look at each other. At least, I wasn't talking or looking at him. However, I did feel his presence next to me. As if he was radiating a warmth. As if he was luring me in. Daring me to break the barrier and touch him.

But I shrugged. No, it was all in my head. His feelings were temporary. He should be over me already. I am just a nobody, I thought.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my knee. His hand was on my knee. "What are you doing?" I hissed at him.

"Ssst… keep quiet, or we will be in trouble," he said, with a dark gleam in his eyes. I had never seen him look like that. It seemed something primal. And it scared me. He looked at his paper again, as if nothing was happening. His hand was still on my knee.

Silently he muttered something. His thumb made little circles on my thigh. And slowly he trailed up. I hissed at him, when he reached the seam of my skirt. Then I realized, the muttering was a spell. He spelled me silent.

"Hermione, you don't want to be in more trouble right," Harry said, darkly. He slowly reached under my skirt until he was close. I peeked at McGonall, but she didn't look up. When I looked better, I realized she was asleep. I looked over at Harry. Did he spell her asleep?

He smiled at me with these innocent eyes. "She is fine," he said. And with a flick of his wand, I couldn't move anymore. I sat there, while his finger trailed along my linens. "You do not know how long I have wanted to do this." He said.

With his wand, he vanished my underwear and bra. He flipped my skirt up. "So beautiful," he said. He kissed my lower lips and began licking it. With his tongue he pushed my lips open and entered in my entrance. And I knew that he would taste my white liquid.

"I knew you would be longing for me. I knew you lied to me." He said. As his face inched closer, he looked me deep in the eyes, before he kissed me, forcefully. He unbuckled his pants and quickly whipped his wand out.

Without further ado, he just picked me up and rammed himself into me. I felt how he moved against me. I felt how he enjoyed it. So immensely. And I felt how my body responded. I twitched and I turned, just when he came, I came.

He quickly cleaned us with a spell and sat back. With another flick, he removed the sleeping spell from professor McGonall.

"Oh, I guess, I fell asleep," she said, with blushing cheeks.

"It's fine," Harry said, "I guess, you were a tad too tired from patrolling at night, right?"

"Yes, yes, that must be it," professor McGonall said. "Well, you too are dismissed." She picked up her own work and left the room.

Harry looked at me and kissed my cheek. "My dear Hermione. It is better if you forget this. Obliviate."

It was weird. The whole day felt weird. It felt as if I've lost a part of myself, but I didn't know how or why.

Fin.


End file.
